I never wrote a journal as a teenager. No way!!
Mom was a snoop - unfortunately, my sister (by 15 months) found this out the hard way:) Later, I did think of starting a journal as a young mom BUT, like mom, I was a snoop and had once found an old letter mom had written way back in 1960. She sooo did not want another baby (me). I was the third and last child of the family. She wrote how she had been on "the pill" but God had stepped in and overrode her decision on the matter.
Goodness! Could you imagine your kids reading that? So who on earth can you tell your thoughts to? Lordy knows my sister couldn't keep a secret! I was shy at school and had a complete lack of self confidence. I tried to talk to my parents but they were less than patient and thought I was a a tad nuts. Friends? I felt they were unable to really relate to or comprehend my thought process.
So my head began to fill up. Secrets, Opinions (about all those things mom said to never ever talk about), Lists, Plans, Goals, Sex, Self Doubt, both Joyful and Angry thoughts....all of it. What do you do when your head is so full it begins to wear you down?
At eighteen....I stumbled upon a young man who listened (I swear I did NOT chat his head off). Without a doubt he knew I was a closet thinker of all things when we dated and married. I thought I'd found a true match. Suuuurrre...he was a tad quiet on dates and it always seemed up to me to keep him in the conversation. The honeymoon period passed and I found he thought some of the things I chatted about were a bit silly. He was always trying to correct my thinking (shesh!)
After all those attempts to try and share my deeper emotions and thoughts with him, I realized it was better to not share TOO much. I mean, if he has to play devils advocate every time I open my mouth, Why bother?
So here goes... Welcome to my blog!
